


Photography

by rosworms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1060's au, 1950's AU, 1970's AU, AU, Angst, Human Castiel, M/M, Past AU, Photographer Castiel, flufffffffffff, hiding relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:31:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1866363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosworms/pseuds/rosworms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Started as a tumblr prompt from holydarkhallelujah: Sastiel as teenagers in the 1950's, sneaking out together.</p><p>It has turned into so much more for me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1955

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PuppiesRainbowsSadism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppiesRainbowsSadism/gifts).



Tink!

Tink!

Tink!

Sam was startled awake. What woke him up?

Tink!

A pebble hit the bedroom window. He glanced over at his older brother, Dean, to make sure he was still asleep. He was sawing logs and Sam sighed with relief. 

He kicked off his blanket and tiptoed to the window, slowly opening it while trying to stifle the groan of old swollen wood rubbing against each other. He looked down and saw Castiel standing in his lawn. Another pebble was ready in his hand but he stopped mid-throw when he saw Sam’s head peak out.

"Cas!" Sam whisper yelled.

"Sam… the sky’s awake." Castiel didn’t bother to whisper yell, always logical and calm. He knew his speaking voice had the same volume and sounded less suspicious. 

Sam ducked further out the window so he could look up in the Minnesota sky. The northern lights shined in the distance and he grinned.

"You got it?" He asked.

Castiel held up his bag with a smile. Sam nodded and ducked back into the bedroom to put on his jeans and grab his own bag.

Slinging the bag onto his shoulders, Sam then leaned out and grabbed the large tree branch closest to his window. He stood precariously on his window sill and jumped. He swung his legs around the branch and shimmied until he made his way down to the ground.

"Come, I have my bike." Castiel said after he greeted Sam with a soft squeeze on his arm.

After Castiel climbed on the bike, Sam sat on the handlebars. He hated when Dean made him ride the handlebars. It made him self conscious about his small stature, but it was different with Castiel. He felt free, laughing as the wind chilled his face and blew his hair back.

It was only a ten minute ride on bike, but they made it to their destination. The hill that all the older teenagers with cars went to on weekends. It was empty during the school week and free for Sam and Castiel to enjoy themselves. They only came here when the sky was extra amazing. Whether it was a meteor shower or the northern lights, they tried to never miss any of it.

Sam unzipped his bag and pulled out the blanket he had stuffed in there. He was smoothing it out while Castiel carefully opened his bag. His wealthy parents had gotten him a Kodachrome color camera for his birthday last year. The pictures they took with it weren’t actually that good, but it didn’t stop them from coming out at night to use it.

Photography was a great excuse when you loved someone you weren’t supposed to love.


	2. 1961

Sam couldn’t sleep. He’d had a horrible day of classes and next week he had final examinations. The stress was keeping him awake, and being exhausted in class just made it harder to concentrate on the material.

He huffed out a sigh and rolled to his side. The moonlight from the dorm window lit on his dorm mate, the lazy kid taking the easiest classes available so that he could spend his nights at whatever party was happening that night. He was asleep like a baby and Sam was jealous of him for the first time that year.

Sam usually liked to challenge himself. He decided to major in pre-law and he tested out of every general course he was allowed to so that he could take more that were focused towards his major, which he only regretted a little bit now that he couldn’t get himself to settle for the night.

  
Tink!

Tink!

A familiar sound startled him out of his thoughts. He’d been listening for pebbles on his window every night since he was thirteen years old. He’d missed them this year, his first year away at school.

Looking over to make sure his dorm mate stayed asleep, Sam crept to the window and opened it slowly. He made a quick wish and leaned out. His breath was stolen away when he saw his wish come true.

"Cas." It was breathed like a sigh of relief. They hadn’t seen each other since spring break when Sam was back home again. Castiel had only been to Sam’s school once to help him move in.

"Sam… the sky’s awake." Castiel smiled up at him as he spoke softly. He gestured to the bag he had over his shoulder. His camera bag. Their childhood hobby (and cover story) had turned into a real passion for Castiel, and he had the talent to make it work for him. He was now working for their hometown’s local newspaper and doing some freelance on the side, selling a few photos to nature magazines. Sam was amazingly proud of him even if it kept Castiel from visiting Sam at school.

Sam bit his lip, looking back into his room away from Castiel for a moment. He turned back with a grin.

"I’ll be down in a moment." Unfortunately there was no tree next to this window for him to climb out of. He leaned back from the window and reached for some pants before sticking his head out again, already missing Castiel’s face. "I missed you."

"Get down here," Castiel chuckled.

Sam hurried around the room, hopping on one leg at a time as he pulled on a pair of jeans. He shoved his pathetic little blanket into a bag along with a couple oranges as well and almost ran out of the room with his keys gripped tightly to keep from making a jangling sound as he left.

As he exited the building, Sam felt himself shoved back into the rough bricks and looked up to see Castiel’s face mere inches from his own. The other man looked around before lightly pushing Sam into the darkest shadows that the awning above the doors created.

"I missed you, too." Castiel told Sam, reaching up to brush a stray bit of fringe away from Sam’s eyes and then pulling Sam’s face down to meet his in a kiss that sucked the air from Sam’s lungs. It was forceful and desperate, as if they were trying to make up for all the kisses they missed out on while separated.

The kiss erased any and all worries Sam may have had, clearing his mind of things like Russian cosmonauts, his first final exam in Constitutional Criminal Procedure on Monday, and the new wall that was being built in Germany.

Mind completely wiped, the kiss was broken with a gasp. Sam’s face easily slid into a goofy grin and his dimples deepened. He could let his knees go and slide right down that wall if Castiel didn’t still have a hold on him.

"Let’s go." Castiel said. Sam loved the raspy quality that his voice had taken after puberty hit. He swore his heart skipped a beat whenever Castiel spoke.

Sam’s hand was taken and and he was dragged to the parking lot, where Castiel had his bike. Not much changed from when they were kids. Castiel still preferred the open air and a bike, but now it had a motor and a seat that Sam could sit on behind him. Cas climbed on first and Sam settled in behind him, wrapping his arms around and hanging onto Castiel for dear life as they took off.

Sam only ever enjoyed the wind in his face when he was in the company of Castiel. It made him feel like they were flying. Like Castiel had wings and was taking Sam along for the ride.

Looking around as they slowed down, Sam realized they were near the cliff that was the source of so many stories and rumors on campus. Someone’s brother’s friend knew a person who was racing and went over the edge or something. He didn’t think any of it was true, but it was a harmless amusement anyway.

"What are we doing here?" Sam asked, climbing off of the bike and opening his bag. Castiel reached down and grabbed a collapsible tripod that had been hooked to his bike and his eyes widened as he started setting it up.

"I was reading about a meteor shower that would be happening tonight… so I gave my boss all my stock photos and the phone number of another photographer in case anything of interest happened." Castiel shrugged. "And I came here. I couldn’t wait the whole two weeks until you came home."

Sam felt a wave of warmth spread through his chest at the confession. He’d missed Castiel so much and was so grateful for this extra bit of alone time together before he went home and was smothered by his family for the first few days. He shook out his blanket and set it next to the tripod, sitting down and watching as Castiel set up his camera.

"Why are you putting a filter on it?" Sam asked. He’d learned almost as much as Castiel about photography throughout the years, but didn’t have the intuition or talent that Castiel had.

"I’m going to experiment with longer shutter speeds than we usually use at night. I saw this amazing photo in a magazine and I want to replicate the effect."

After the camera was set up with a long wire so Castiel could control the shutter without disturbing the camera, they settled down together. Castiel on his back and Sam on his side, looking up at the sky from where his head lay on Castiel’s chest. Every few heartbeats, he would see a white streak in the sky.

Castiel’s left hand held the shutter control and his right rubbed light circles on Sam’s back.

"What happens after?" Sam murmured softly.

"After what?"

"After college… when it’s time to be adults forever. What happens to us?"

The circles on Sam’s back stopped for a moment as Castiel was thinking.

"You become a rich lawyer and I become a famous photographer… then we can do whatever we want because we’ll have power." The soft circles resumed. "Or you become a poor lawyer who fights for rights instead of money and I become a starving artist and we can do whatever we want because we won’t be important enough for anyone to care."

Sam laughed softly.

"No matter what happens, we’ll make it work." Castiel assured him. Sam nodded, trusting him completely. Castiel had never steered him wrong. He’d always been Sam’s guardian angel.


	3. May 2, 1970

Sam rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t been able to sleep all night and now the sun was peaking through the window to his right. 

"Happy birthday to me…" he muttered sadly. Castiel had promised to be home by today. It was one of the reasons Sam hadn’t been able to sleep. Here he was, safe at home, while Castiel was off on some damned photography mission trying to earn his coveted Pulitzer in Vietnam. 

And the worst part… aside from Sam’s brother and a few open minded artist friends and work associates of Castiel’s, nobody knew about them. They’d kept up their successful front of just being roommates so they could afford a bigger house.

Sam threw back the covers on the bed and sat up with a groan. Twenty nine wasn’t thirty, but he still felt every bit his age. He supposed all of his time working at a desk between court dates had softened his muscles. He needed to get back into shape if he wanted to keep up with his very athletic boyfriend who regularly hiked up mountains and trekked across deserts and jungles just to find a good photography angle or scene.

He ran a hand through his hair and plodded downstairs to start up a pot of coffee. He stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster and went to check for the newspaper and the mail he’d neglected to check all last week were still in the box by the front door. 

The pile of letters was small, probably mostly bills, but one big manila envelope stood out. He tossed everything on the table with the big envelope on top and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He poured a steaming cup of coffee and picked his burnt toast out of the toaster, cringing as he tried to cover the black edges with butter.

He set the mug and toast down on the table and pulled out a chair… and froze.

There was an official government seal on it. And it wasn’t addressed in Castiel’s handwriting as his letters had been. 

He could feel the blood leave his face and he reached for the envelope with shaking hands. He sat down at the table and took a breath before he slowly opened the envelop.

He pulled out a small stack of pictures with a letter on top. 

Samuel Winchester,

You are listed as emergency contact of Castiel Grace. The secretary of the army has asked me to express his deep regret that Castiel Grace, photographer under our protection, was killed during a routine operation.

The pictures developed in this package are copies from the film that was found on his remains. We have kept the originals.

The world around Sam faded to black. All he could see were the words on the white paper. They blurred in front of him. His chest felt tight. It was as if something were wrapped around him, binding him, keeping him from taking a breath. 

Desperately gasping, Sam flipped through the pictures. He needed something… some last thing to link him to Castiel. 

Nothing. Trees, jungle, soldiers, soldier games, some boys in chains. Oh… POWs. Cas had caught a picture of them and the military now had a copy of this picture. They could find their lost boys. Cas quite possibly saved their lives and gave his own in the process.

Sam knew Cas was a hero. But he’d trade a hundred soldier’s lives for Castiel’s life. A thousand. 

He stood from the table, not knowing what to do next. His body decided for him as everything went black and the world faded to nothing.


	4. May 1970

Sam watched as the sun came up. 

He didn’t know how many days it had been since he’d opened the envelope that ended his life. He’d not gone to bed once, only falling asleep wherever he was when his body refused to go on. 

He’d spend the past night curled up on the floor in a nest of all of Castiel’s clothing. A box of pictures and childhood memories was tipped on it’s side near him. 

Dean had come over after Sam called him and sobbed incoherently into the phone. After ten minutes of trying to understand what Sam was crying about. He got Sam calmed down enough to show him the letter.

He’d been back each morning since, taking care of Sam. Making him shower, making him eat, being a shoulder to cry on. 

It was morning now. Sam had been staring out the window for hours, praying and wishing he was a kid again. He wanted to hear pebbles hitting his window. He needed Cas to be waiting in the yard with his bike and a camera.

Instead there was pounding.

Someone was banging on the front door downstairs. Hard. Sam could feel the vibrations as he lay curled in a ball on the floor surrounded by the smell of Cas. 

He blinked slowly, eyes burning and red. Dean had his own damn key to the house and Sam wasn’t getting up. 

The banging continued and Sam could feel a sob building in his chest, pressing painfully outward. He reached for whatever was closest, the blue sweater Cas wore when they first bought the house, and clutched it tight.

He held it to his face, breathing deep. He clenched his eyes shut.

The banging stopped.

He wished to be thirteen again, chasing after rainbow colored night skies and shooting stars with the boy he loved.

Tink!

Tink!

Tink!

Sam’s eyes snapped open. He’d let his imagination get out of hand. He thought he’d heard-

Tink!

Tink!

Tink!

He scrambled to his feet, staring at the window. His breath sped up as he crept closer, scared to look out. He grabbed the window and pulled it up, leaning out over to see who was in his yard.

"Sam!" 

He must have fallen asleep. He must be dreaming, Sam rationed, because Castiel was standing in the grass. Eyes clearly red rimmed like Sam’s own and face stretched with worry, but it was Castiel.

Sam’s knees buckled and he fell, only being held up by the window he was leaning through.

"Sam, it wasn’t me! They made a mistake! Let me in, I don’t have my key!"

A mistake?

Sam took a shaky breath, still silent, and pushed himself away from the window. His shaky legs held him and he slowly made his way out of the room and down the stairs. 

When he opened the door, he was attacked by strong arms, holding him and clutching him tight. His mouth was covered by soft lips and murmured apologies that overwhelmed his confused mind. He was sinking again, losing all strength as he buried his face in a muscular chest and the scent of safety surrounded and covered him.

"C-Cas?" 

"Sam, I’m so sorry. So sorry. It wasn’t me. I tried to get hold of you, I did." Hands pulled Sam’s head from the chest and held onto his face, making him look into Castiel’s eyes. Castiel was crying and Sam realized he was too.

"Mistake?"

"Someone else was holding onto my film when we got separated. He was killed and… his body… they couldn’t find all of him. There were no dog tags… just my film canisters with my name on them. I didn’t find out until I was back in the country trying to use my damn passport." Castiel was stroking Sam’s hair, soothing and pressing firmly to assure each other of their very real presence.

"You’re alive." Sam gasped and sobbed as it finally sank in.

"Very much so." Castiel’s smile was so soft.

Sam wrapped his arms around the man who’d been holding him. He squeezed, not ever intending to let go again. As Castiel melted into Sam’s embrace, Sam suddenly realized he’d been cold until that moment. 

Now he felt warm as if angel wings were holding him.


End file.
